Breaking Up 2.0

By Maggie Higgins

I was a junior in college when the first version of Facebook swept campuses. 2004 really wasn’t that long ago though it seems like lifetime. Breaking up has always been hard to do, but in the six short years since the advent and proliferation of Facebook, Twitter and Google’s new Buzz, people are completely confused on how to appropriately end their relationships online without adding insult to injury.

After doing some digging on both legitimate new sources and personal blogs I have found few points of agreement. There is plenty out there to read, but these are the themes I have found:

1) Do not write out the gruesome details of the break up. This means no blogging, no notes, no status updates, no 140 character sob stories, nothing. Do not write out the details of the break, do not post updates about your mood and how you are taking it every few hours. This leads to self-pity, voyeurism and generally, nothing positive

2) Don’t waste time following your ex’s online activity. It’s over. No need to check their status updates every hour, follow their tweets, look at all their Facebook photos from the weekend. It won’t make you feel better.

3) Change all your passwords. This is mostly to protect yourself, especially if you shared passwords with your partner. While you may believe that they would not ever go into your email, Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, etc., they might. It’s best to remove all temptation.

So, according to all the site and articles and blogs that I saw, there is no “right” way to break up online. If you think of it, and if it makes you feel better, change your relationships status and untag the photos, but don’t go crazy posting the details of your break up and/or relationships.

Most importantly, remember that there is a whole world, a real world, for you to engage. Call on your friends, in real time, to hang out, to exercise, to talk. Heal yourself as a person and worry less about your cyber-image. In time, you will mend, and then, when you feel like your old self again, start blogging, writing notes, and updating as normal.

References Romm, V. (2008). Breaking up is Hard to do on the Web 2.0. MidLifeBachelor.com Retrieved February 11, 2010 from <http://www.midlifebachelor.com/articles/breakupweb2pointo2.html>

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